When I turned 30, it was the lowest point of my life. I was filing for bankruptcy, I wasn’t in a healthy relationship, and I was abusing alcohol. I was also sleeping around and self-medicating. I was not a happy person. The worst part about it was looking back and realizing that I had wasted my twenties.
The sooner you get your life together in your twenties, the better off you’ll be and the further off you’ll be ahead of everyone else. Your twenties are an opportunity, so start paying attention, avoid taking impulsive actions, and make informed strategic choices. You’re not too young. You’re the perfect age.
I don’t want you to make the same mistakes in your 20s that I did, so I’d like to discuss what you should know now. Here are the critical errors:
- Staying with somebody who’s not right. Don’t feel like you’re the problem; that if you were somebody else, then the relationship would be different. Be strong enough to stand up for yourself and be treated with the respect you deserve. Don’t stay with somebody who’s disloyal to you. Also, don’t date somebody just because they’re hot.
- Not investing. I didn’t learn about money until it was much later in life. I grew up poor, and money was a somewhat taboo subject. I didn’t educate myself and stuck my head in the sand. This wasted time was also money. I could have taken a more active role in my financial literacy.
- Chasing a dream that’s not going to happen. For me, I tried to keep my fitness center alive by doing everything possible. I ended up broke and bankrupt. I had had this dream since I was 12 years old, so I didn’t want it to die. I thought I had no other options, but I could have used those years to refine my valuable skills and focus on something else. However, I wasted them chasing a dream that I knew deep down wouldn’t work.
- Binge drinking and self-medicating. Don’t be the one who gets drunk and does stupid things. Don’t embarrass yourself! And don’t do things to numb the pain. This makes matters worse. Deal with what’s going on by going to therapy and stopping the self-destructive behavior. Find the tools to get yourself on the right track.
- Not dealing with the past. Everybody has past failures, times that they’re embarrassed about, and trauma. However, it’s the people who choose to take action who ultimately find success. I wish I had done that sooner. You deserve success and happiness. Get 10% off your first month of therapy with BetterHelp and get matched with a therapist who will listen and help you.
- Wasting time trying to impress others who don’t matter. Often, we focus on doing, buying, showing, and seeing things in an attempt to make others think we’re something we’re not or that we’re cool. I wasted a lot of time being that guy. Instead, build yourself into the person that others admire and respect. Have discipline & integrity, and do the hard things.
- Wasting time on low-value people. In my twenties, I hung out with a lot of others who were self-destructive and enabled my behavior. It’s not okay to surround yourself with people who are losers. Instead, focus on high-value individuals by building a network that supports and uplifts you. These people will call you on your crap and self-destructive actions. Outgrow people because if you don’t, you’ll perpetuate self-destructive actions with self-destructive people.
- Not taking chances due to fear of failure. In your twenties, it’s time to swing for the fences. Be calculated, but take your swings and shots as you’ll never be in a better position to fail. You probably don’t have a mortgage, family, or the responsibilities that you’ll have later. It’s harder to swing in the future as you mature. If you fail, it’s beautiful because you can’t progress or realize your potential until you fail. So take that significant risk and chance.
- Thinking success looks like one specific thing. Success sometimes doesn’t look like what you hope or expect.
- Comparing yourself with others who do not matter. Stop comparing yourself with people you’ll never meet, those who are lying to you, or who are fake flexing. Stop comparing yourself to your friends or even others you no longer talk to. Also, stop comparing yourself to your siblings or your parents when they were your age. It’s your journey and not theirs. They shouldn’t tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.
