I talk a lot about nonverbal communication, including your body language, posture, handshake, eye contact, style, and grooming. But having excellent nonverbal communication and looking good are only part of the equation. What you say after that first impression is also going to make people either continue to like you or automatically dismiss you even if you look terrific. I want to review some statements that men should never say because they will make a man look weak, submissive, and unconfident. All of these are incredibly unattractive.
Saying these make you look weak, submissive, and unconfident!
- “Can I get a hug?” Begging and pleading for a type of connection for interaction makes you look pathetic and weak.
- “I’m so offended!” Soft weaklings are getting offended, trying to cancel everybody, and getting outraged when somebody doesn’t agree with them or does something they don’t like. This is insane! A real man owns his s***. A real man realizes he only has a limited number of f**** to give. He is not worried about things that he can’t control or that don’t affect him. There’s only one person you can change and the only one person you have control over. That is you. Spending your time and brain power getting offended and angry at things that don’t matter and can’t change will cause you to miss out on becoming a powerful person.
- “I’ll try.” Saying this lets someone know you’re not willing to commit because it’s not saying yes, I will do it, or I will do my best. It’s also saying don’t get mad at me because I can’t.
- “I can’t.” A real man understands and knows that he can accomplish anything. He may choose not to, but he can do it if he wants to. We often say we can’t because we don’t want to try due to fear of failure. Failure is part of the equation, and you must fail to achieve amazing things. Check out Audible’s audiobook by David Goggins, “Can’t Hurt Me.” He’s overcome crazy adversity and is a testament to the human spirit and the power of your mind. Master your mind and defy the odds. This book will change your life by motivating and putting things into perspective. I also recommend Mark Manson’s Audible audiobook, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.” They will literally change the way you think and your life.
- “I don’t have the time.” Yes, you do have the time. You’re just not spending time doing what you don’t want. If it were a priority, you would find the time. We can all find time to do things that we want to do. Stop blowing smoke up your ass and everybody else’s.
- “Someday, I’m going to do it.” Everybody loves talking about everything they will accomplish and how they’ll kill it. Real men don’t talk about it. They do it! Let your actions speak louder than your words.
- “It’s not fair.” Right! It’s unfair, but you must deal with it and own it. The sooner you realize that the better off you’ll be. Don’t sit around thinking why you don’t have whatever or haven’t achieved something because it’s unfair. If you believe that you’re pathetic and part of the problem. You have to understand that you create your own destiny and your own luck. To achieve anything, you have to get off your ass and do it.
- “I didn’t do it.” Own it! When you do something wrong, say you’re sorry and apologize. But don’t accept responsibility for something that isn’t your fault. Don’t take blame and ownership just because you want to fit in, be liked, or get along. It will make you look weak and submissive. On the flip side, don’t downplay your success by dismissing it. If you did something amazing, own it.
- “I am awesome.” Don’t boast and brag about accomplishments or things you have. There’s no need. When kicking ass in life, a real man is low-key about it. It’s apparent to everybody else how awesome he is. You don’t have to talk about it because it makes you look super insecure. Also, don’t say demeaning and derogatory things to women. I’m not a social justice warrior, and I’m not trying to be the fun police, but real men don’t talk down to women. They don’t say anything degrading, don’t kiss her ass just because she’s pretty, and don’t give her money.
- “I’m okay.” If you’re struggling, don’t always act like you’re stoic and that everything is good. That’s a recipe for disaster. If you don’t deal with your issues, the issues will manifest in other areas of your life. Ask for help which is one of the strongest things you can do. Admit when you don’t have the tools or you don’t have the strength to deal with the issues at hand. Don’t push it down under the rug. Believe me, it never goes away, as you cannot outrun your past. You have to fight and deal with it because you’re worth it!